6:00 a.m. Survey.... because I can

(1) Your gender: girl
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: Straight
(3) Single?: No
(4) Want to be?: no
(5) Your birth day: October 29, 1986
(6) Age you act: oh god... I don't know, some days it's 5, some days it's 35
(7) Age you wish you were: 22 and out of school
(8) Your height: 5 ft 3 1/4 in
(9) The color of your eyes: chocolatey brown
(10) Happy with it?: mmmmm, chocolate
(11) The color of your hair: dark brown... nearly black, sometimes, except at the ends where it turns nearly golden (sounds pretty, but it's actually just really damaged)
(12) Happy with it?: i kind of want it all to be the same color, actually
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: Right
(14) Your living arrangement?: dorm life SUCKS
(29) What's your job: RA
(30) Piercings?: ears
(31) Tattoos?: nope
(32) Obsessions?: music, good theatre, my friends, musicals, books
(35) Do you speak another language?: sort of spanish... not very well anymore, though
(36) Have a favorite quote?: oh, loads. For today, we'll go with "no day but today"
(37) Do you have a webpage?: nah
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: try to, yeah
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: um, except stupid or inconsiderate people.
(40) Do you have any secrets?: yes
(41) Do you hate yourself?: hate is such a strong word
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: i guess...?
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: who doesn't?
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: recently, that i handle crisis situations well. yay me.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: "..."
(46) What's your biggest fear?: not being loved
(47) Can you sing: it has been said that i can, yes
(48) Do you ever?: yeah, all the time
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: that question SUCKS, and no
(52) Are you a daredevil?: not by any stretch of the imagination
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: there's a lot
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: haha... yup
(55) Have you got a ?: in fact, no.
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: strength - love and compassion, weakness - oh, boo, there are too many.... jealousy, uncertainty, fear
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: i wish i were a senior
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you chose? love
(59) How do you vent?: i yell, a lot, and i sing, sometimes
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: depends on the day
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: no... i've learned from all of it
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: it's certainly not been bad
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: to forgive other people quickly and TRULY, because your grudge will hurt you more than them
(64) What do you like the most about your body? my eyes
(65) And least?: blaaaaaahhhhh
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: well, i know i'm not ugly... but i rarely feel pretty
(67) Are you confident?: relatively so
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: *whistles* i have no idea...
(69) Do people know how you feel?: very few, i think
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: on occasion

DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: no
(72) Do drugs?: no
(73) Read the newspaper?: no
(74) Pray?: no
(75) Go to church?: no
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: no
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: yes
(78) Take walks in the rain?: yes
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: yes
(80) Drive?: Yes
(81) Like to drive fast?: yes

HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: yes
(83) Hurt yourself?: yes
(84) Been out of the country?: yes
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: no
(86) Burped?: yes
(87) Been unfaithful?: yes
(88) Been cheated on?: no
(89) Done drugs?: no
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: yes
(92) Had a surgery?: no
(93) Ran away from home?: no
(94) Played strip poker: yes
(95) Gotten beaten up?: no
(97) Been picked on?: yes
(98) Been on stage?: yes
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: ...
(100) Slept outdoors?: yes
(101) Thought about suicide?: yes
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: yes
(103) If yes, what is your record?: um, i don't know... probably two nights in a row or so
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: yes
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: yes
(107) Slept all day?: yes
(108) Killed someone?: no
(109) Made out with a stranger?: no
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: no
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: yes
(112) Kissed the same sex?: yes
(113) Done anything?: if this is in reference to the above question, no
(115) Had a dream that came true?: yes
(116) Broken the law?: yes
(117) Met a famous person?: yes
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: no
(146) Stolen anything?: yes
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: yes
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: yes
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: yes
(150) Considered religious vocation?: yes
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: yes
(152) Bungee jumped?: no
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: yes

CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: new balance, steve madden
(155) Brand of clothing?: new york & co
(156) Cologne/perfume?: i don't really wear perfume
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: jeans and a nice shirt
(159) Wear hats: every now and then
(161) Wear make-up?: everyday
(162) Favorite place to shop?: NY&Co, B&N
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: a good pair of jeans
(164) Are you trendy?: ummm... not on purpose?
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: hell no

BELIEFS
(166) Believe in life on other planets?: yes
(167) Miracles?: yes
(168) Astrology?: um, no.
(169) Magic?: yes
(170) God?: yes
(171) Satan?: no
(172) Santa?: no
(173) Ghosts?: no
(174) Luck?: yes
(175) Love at first sight?: no
(176) Yin and Yang?: yes
(177) Witches?: no
(178) Easter bunny?: no
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: no
(181) Do you wish on stars?: yes

LOVE, and all that
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: no
(183) Do you remember your first love?: yes
(184) Still love him/her?: no
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: no
(186) What do you find romantic?: when you're doing the most mundane, ordinary, everyday thing in the world but it feels like something special because of the person you're with
(187) Turn-on?: touch me
(188) Turn-off?: look bored
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: no
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: really bad for having to turn them down
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: knowing him
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: nah
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: nope, not in my opinion anyway
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: eh
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: matt bounds =)
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: in general? the list goes on....
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: um um um.... karen gave me books for christmas
(208) Are you in love?: yes
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: yep =)
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: it's not that uncommon a thing, people, there's no need to stare

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?: jack the ripper (????)
(212) You wanted to kill?: i plead the fifth
(213) That you laughed at?: me
(214) That laughed at you?: bounds
(215) That turned you on?: bounds
(216) You went shopping with?: zaruba
(217) That broke your heart?: my heart hasn't ever really been broken
(218) To disappoint you?: me
(219) To ask you out?: bounds
(220) To make you cry?: me
(221) To brighten up your day?: mom
(222) That you thought about?: bounds
(223) You saw a movie with?: bounds
(224) You talked to on the phone?: karen
(225) You talked to through IM?: karen
(226) You saw?: pager
(227) You lost?: ummmm.... i'm going to hold off on this one
(229) You thought was completely insane?: me
(230) You wanted to be?: me
(231) You told off?: newsom, last week in madrigals, for being late
(232) You trusted?: bounds
(233) You turned down?: wow, i dunno
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: earlier this morning.... around 4, i think
(235) Laughed?: 12:30ish?
(236) Cried?: for a while between 4 and 5
(237) Bought something?: dinner at the pden tonight (all by myself, thanks crawford.... just kidding... sort of....)
(238) Danced?: last tuesday
(239) Were sarcastic?: sometime today, i'm sure
(240) hugged someone?: tonight
(241) Talked to an ex?: today
(242) Watched your fave movie?: since i don't have just one favorite, that would be hard to determine
(243) Had a nightmare?: earlier this morning, when i was asleep
(245) Talked on the phone?: ummmmm.... tonight sometime
(246) Listened to the radio?: haven't done that in a while
(247) Watched TV?: last night, grey's anatomy
(248) Went out?: does a road trip count? .... not really....

Over a month later....

Well, so much for writing in here regularly. Ah well. I really was going to, and then right after Christmas all the deb stuff really picked up -- and then, of course, Bounds got to Greensboro and I spent little to no time on the computer after that. Man, that was fun. =) The deb ball went well, I guess. I mean, it's insanely hyped up and EXPENSIVE for just being nine girls in white dresses walking around together. Seriously, we were all just ready to get to the party by the night of the 28th. But it was pretty cool -- Daddy was definitely the best-looking father, and my brothers were the best-looking siblings, and Mom looked gorgeous (not that I'm biased or anything). And my Dad pretty much taught me to dance, so we were the best waltz-ers, which was cool. I did feel ridiculous every now and then, but it was nice to have all my friends there (especially the boy, of course) and I think -- I HOPE -- they all had a good time, too.

So yeah... I thought my Christmas break was a success. My mother, on the other hand, disagrees. The morning Bounds and I left to drive back to Furman, Mom wouldn't speak to me. Like, didn't give me a hug, didn't walk me to my car, nothing. Dad showed up to help me pack stuff in my car and say goodbye, and she FLIPPED. She started yelling about how I never spend time with her when I'm at home, and how I've arranged to spend all my time away from her, and how I clearly hate spending time with her, etc, etc. NONE of which is true. She's one to talk, anyway. I didn't exactly feel welcome at home, what with the giant pile of her clothes on my bed when I arrived, and her attitude about all the deb functions we had to go to. She made parts of break relatively.... awful, actually. But I still had dinner with her and the boys a couple times, and I spent nearly all my nights at her house, except when I was with Karen -- I think that's pretty good! I had dinner with Dad like twice and the only other times I saw him were at deb stuff. But she thinks I spent "way more time" with him than with her. ??????? Oy. The sad thing is, she's still angry with me for it. Bounds and I are going out to Arizona to visit my grandparents and my dad's sister and her family over Easter break, and when I told her about that she just jumped right back into her tirade about how I hate coming home, blah blah blah. At this point, I'm just going to assume that she's frustrated with other stuff in her life and taking it out on me, because it doesn't make sense anymore. I mean, I'm coming home for spring break, and there are plenty of other things I had thought about doing. For God's sake, there are a bunch of girls on the hall trying to get as many people as possible to go to Key West. I AM in college. I don't have to come home anymore, but I do. Gah. So frustrating. I'm not going to think about it anymore.

Re: Easter -- SO exciting. =) Bounds and I bought plane tickets last night. For cheap, too, which was nice. And Mom may not be thrilled about it, but Daddy is really happy that I took the intiative in going to visit his family. We live so far away from each other, and now that I'm in college it feels like I have more of a chance to go visit. I guess that's the newfound independence talking. But it's just nice. Because I never see these people, and I'm beginning to realize that that's not as common a situation as I'd thought. Especially down South, but not exclusively here -- Bounds lives really close at least to both his grandparents, if not all his extended family the way that Newsom was. I think part of why Newsom and I had so many problems throughout was that we just didn't understand each other. He had no way of knowing what it's like to live at a distance from the people you love, and I couldn't understand what I saw as an obsession with family. Being at Furman I've met a lot more people that are like Newsom than like me, and it's beginning to make me wonder how different I would have been if my family had lived within a 30-mile radius. I can't tell which I like better. I can't imagine living near my family, but just because I can't imagine it doesn't necessarily mean I wouldn't like it.... I don't know. Anyway, I'm just glad I'll get to see these cousins and my grandparents over Easter when I usually wouldn't. Plus it's bound to be beautiful out near Phoenix in the middle of April. I mean, when we went for Christmas a couple years ago it was warm-ish, so it's never bad weather I guess. Except I wouldn't want to go during the heat of the summer. *whistles* It gets ridiculous.

What else is new....? Um, classes are pretty cool this term (it's already midterm week. What. The. Hell.) -- I have Acting, with Doug, which is fantastically fun, and History of the French Revolution which is.... well, the reading is interesting. I'm actually getting it done on a pretty regular basis, which is a serious accomplishment for me. But the class is set up as entirely discussion oriented, when I think I would actually prefer lectures for once. I mean, I'd like to take notes, I'd like to learn stuff, I'm a dork about the French Revolution and I was really interested about this course. But I never end up getting anything out of the class because some of the people are just DUMB. And most of the dumb ones dominate the discussion. I rarely feel like we talk about anything interesting, and people don't usually bring up great arguments, so I don't end up participating that much, either. Boo. But the books we've got have been ... not easy reading, per se, but not hard textbook stuff either. Maybe that's just because I find the FR fascinating. Like I said. Dork.

Madrigals is going pretty well. We're learning a bunch of new music that most people seem to like. A few people are having trouble getting to rehearsals on time, or at all, occasionally, and that kind of needs to be addressed... but overall I think things are good. FUtones is.... oy, well, I have issues with FUtones right now, but I don't know that I want to put them online. No, in fact, I'm sure I don't. At least at this point. I like the music we're doing, and I miss Suzanne and Adrienne. And that's all I'm sayin'.

Ummmmm.... that's all for now. I was going to post New Year's Resolutions but I think I've pretty much smashed them all to pieces. Including exercising and eating better and stuff... Kim, don't hate me! =( So yeah, I'm done. Until next time, faithful readers..... (or unfaithful, you can cheat on my blog, it doesn't care)