FUtones.... and all that that implies
So. FUtones. Huge, right? Exciting, yes?
Well... yeah. =) It is. Huge and exciting, and I'm thrilled. But it's bittersweet. On the one hand, I can't wait to get to know all of the other FUtones, I couldn't be happier that I get to sing with them (hell, that I get to sing at all in a group I didn't have to make myself), I'm absolutely jumping out of my skin I'm so freaking excited about rehearsal tonight (which is just a testament to my weirdness).... but... I'm scared, too. Scared that my friendship with Bounds is going to get in the way of friendships with some of the FUtones. Scared that the Madrigal group is going to be strained with a leader who is now torn between groups. Scared that the Madrigal group is going to get in the way of friendships with some of the FUtones. Hmm... I sense a pattern.
I don't know. It can't be that bad, right? I mean, if they wanted me in the group that must mean they like me already, right? Right??
*sigh*
Things are overly complicated. Why can't people just be, without having to think about what everyone else thinks about you or your friends or your life? Why can't I just be in FUtones without having to worry about all of the drama from last year? Why can't I just be an RA without having to worry about whether or not the girls on the hall like me? I should be able to go into rehearsal tonight with the confidence of someone who was chosen, not with the cowardice of someone who doesn't know where she stands. But I'll be somewhere in between. I should be able to do my job with the knowledge that I am fully capable and a good RA, not with the self-doubt that creeps in whenever I find out about a problem that no one ever told me about. I mean, do they trust me? I want them to... I want to help, and I feel like I can't, and... urgh.
Cross your fingers.
Well... yeah. =) It is. Huge and exciting, and I'm thrilled. But it's bittersweet. On the one hand, I can't wait to get to know all of the other FUtones, I couldn't be happier that I get to sing with them (hell, that I get to sing at all in a group I didn't have to make myself), I'm absolutely jumping out of my skin I'm so freaking excited about rehearsal tonight (which is just a testament to my weirdness).... but... I'm scared, too. Scared that my friendship with Bounds is going to get in the way of friendships with some of the FUtones. Scared that the Madrigal group is going to be strained with a leader who is now torn between groups. Scared that the Madrigal group is going to get in the way of friendships with some of the FUtones. Hmm... I sense a pattern.
I don't know. It can't be that bad, right? I mean, if they wanted me in the group that must mean they like me already, right? Right??
*sigh*
Things are overly complicated. Why can't people just be, without having to think about what everyone else thinks about you or your friends or your life? Why can't I just be in FUtones without having to worry about all of the drama from last year? Why can't I just be an RA without having to worry about whether or not the girls on the hall like me? I should be able to go into rehearsal tonight with the confidence of someone who was chosen, not with the cowardice of someone who doesn't know where she stands. But I'll be somewhere in between. I should be able to do my job with the knowledge that I am fully capable and a good RA, not with the self-doubt that creeps in whenever I find out about a problem that no one ever told me about. I mean, do they trust me? I want them to... I want to help, and I feel like I can't, and... urgh.
Cross your fingers.
posted by Kira at 4:24 PM
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